Is it my baby?
is it my baby or is it a trap
This goes beyond a mere scam. So perhaps this is not the right site to put this on. Whatever the case, here is my story.
She got pregnant and said it was mine. When I voiced my doubts and the possibility that it could be someone else’ she claimed with absolute certainty that it was mine and there was no way it could be another man’s child. 10 months later I found out the truth!
During the pregnancy, I had accepted it. For months during the pregnancy I thought this baby was mine. I provided money, emotional support and anything she needed. Then I got the DNA results back.. it was not mine. And I think she knew damn well it was not. She just strung me along the whole time for money.
Looking back, I can honestly say that it was my OWN FAULT. I ignored all the warning signs of how desperate this person was, how much of a complete liar she was, and I only got suspicious when babies delivery date did not quite add up with the dates of possible conception.
Of course, the best evidence on whether the baby was mine or not was DNA. But there were some signs that should have given me hints.
Here are some hints by the numbers:
#1. Delivery Date is Off
When she got the first ultrasound, the doctor said that the baby was due one month earlier than it should be from the first time we had sex. One thing to keep in mind is that an ultrasound gives the doctor a very good indication of when then baby should arrive and when she had her last period They can definitely be off and if there is any doubt its a good idea to have a second opinion from a different doctor. In my case, she had the baby, it was even earlier than the date she should be due. More information on the accuracy of ultrasounds here: http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/prenatal-care/uses-accuracy-of-ultrasound_79973
I calculated the days over and over using “due date calculators”:
#2. Delays DNA Test
Her first response to a DNA Test was to be pissed off about it. She over reacted a lot when I mentioned it. And it was only when I insisted that she agreed but only if SHE could control the process of having it done. When I denied her that control, she delayed getting the DNA samples from the baby for months.
*When I finally got the results of the DNA test, she said she sent the wrong sample. Since there is no denying DNA evidence, someone who is not sure will be very reluctant about a DNA test. If she was sure it was my baby, she would not hesitate.
#3. Baby does not look like me
I guess this is pretty obvious. If the baby does not have any of your features, you have a right to ask questions.
In my case, the baby did not quite look like me. In fact, the baby did not fully look like my race.
After I was sure she had lied, after I got the DNA results I wanted to How and Why she did it. And you know I think there were many reasons. These reason also add to the hints to be mindful of. Those reasons are also big indicators of motives and intention. Is this the kind of person who would do something like trap you with a baby.
#4. She is a SLUT
In the end I found out that she had slept with many guys and actually she did not know whose baby it was. She wanted to find meaning, affection and intimacy by giving her body up to many men. But she was also driven by revenge. Her boyfriend cheated on her so she wanted to fuck other men to hurt him. How do I know? Some she told me. But I also caught her chatting, and calling them, texting and flirting before, after and once… even during sex.
#5. She is Incredible LIAR
Yet another hint of that the baby might not be mine was all the lying. If she thought there was no way I would know what she was doing then she would lie. She started lying so much that she would forget what she said before to follow up on her own lies. Example, I Googled her and found her on dating sites (profiles still up and active recently). She said she was not searching on the dating sites anymore. She told me she was no longer involved with her exes but eventually I found out everything she said was a lie. What shocked me most about it was how she spoke with such conviction in every lie. It was as if she believed her lies.
#6. Mentally/Emotionally Unstable
I asked her about her past relationships. She told me terrible stories of all the terrible things that happened in each one. She told me about domestic violence, and attempted suicide. Since she could never be honest with herself it was ALWAYS someone else who was at fault. Someone else was the reason for every problem and she could not own even one. In the end, she was alone and desperate and willing to do anything to keep me.
Women who try to trick guys into taking responsibility for a baby that is not theirs is more common than I thought.
I foolishly had unprotected sex with a woman I knew was unstable. I used the “pull out method” but weeks later she was saying she is pregnant and that “it MUST be yours.”
For some guys whether the kid is his or not won’t matter. But to a man willing to take responsibility for his actions no matter what… you are the coveted and often over looked “good guy”. She more than likely was in love with a “bad boy” and she will be smart enough by this time to tell the difference so she will see you coming a mile away. I realize that a woman that could pin that kind of responsibility on a guy that is good to her is both ruthless and desperate or just desperately in love and willing to be ruthless. For guys that are willing to do the right thing, just make sure you are not being deceived while you attempt to doing the right thing. And really, if the child is yours but had to question her honesty and faithfulness maybe you want to just care for the child and leave her ass alone.